The Importance Of Buy-In For Relationships

The Importance Of Buy-In For Relationships

Getting buy-in is essential to a good relationship with anyone. That relationship may be in the business world, friendships or even spousal relationships. No matter what relationship may apply, the concept of buy-in remains the same; for one party to seek from another party the acceptance of and willingness in supporting and participating in something.

A classic example would be from the workplace, where your boss asks you to do something; let’s say, take the reins on a new project. The difference between how that is done traditionally versus asking with a buy-in attached is the boss’ intention of getting the your perceptions, feelings and intuition on the matter. Where the traditional question from the boss might be “we are putting you on this new project, when can you start?”, a buy-in minded question might look like: “we are considering putting you on this new project, what are your thoughts on it?”.

The similar example applies in spousal/romantic relationships. Instead of telling your partner they are coming with you on a date, try asking what their thoughts are on going on a date? Perhaps take it is step further and seek their input on where to go for the date! That is a classic non-workplace example of how to create buy-in for an everyday life situation. If you are a parent, you may also utilize buy-in questions with their children in order to encourage cooperation versus making orders and demands.

Buy-in works because: 1) it tends to present the other party with a choice instead of an order or command; and 2) it emotionally connects the other party between the subject and something they want or desire within it. People tend to respond better when they feel as though they have a choice. Additionally, people tend to be more engaged when they have some sort of skin in the game. Both of these reasons provide an opportunity for a more engaged attitude from the other party, which creates a stronger relationship than simply asking the other party to do something. Whether you are a manager, employee, in a relationship, or a parent; you can utilize the skillset of getting buy-in.

Try utilizing buy-in questions when the opportunity arises, and see if that changes the reaction and result from the other person in a positive way!