When Avoidance Becomes Too Much

Have you ever pushed off an email until the next day? Have you pushed a phone call until later? Perhaps you may have pushed a meeting until next week. Sound familiar?

Absolutely it does! We all are guilty of this. It is the hallmark sign of procrastination. When we get busy, we tend to push things off until later. Unfortunately, this leads to more stress from the overwhelming pile of work we have been avoiding. I was certainly guilty of this in my corporate job, as it felt like I had too much work coming in to accomplish the work I already had from the past. Again, sound familiar?

Procrastination and avoidance is fine once in a while in small doses; heck, it may even be necessary given changes and deviations we have in our daily lives. But the real issue is when we keep avoiding things until it becomes a pattern, which then leads to that avalanche of work or obligations we have been pushing off for weeks or months. When the floor finally falls out from under us, our anxiety goes through the roof (pun intended).

Too many bad things happen when our anxiety is out of control. Some people cannot sleep. Others sleep too much (I’m guilty of that!). Our eating habits get thrown out of balance - eating too much or too little, or craving unhealthy foods more often. Many people lose their routines they worked hard to set up, throwing their day out of balance; Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. It is no wonder people fall into depressive episodes during these times, as they have lost their own free will to live their lives under their control!

I am writing this as a guilty party to all of the above experiences. Heck, I still struggle with avoidance, as it is my default negative coping mechanism when my brain “shuts down” due to anxiety. Just the other week I fell victim to my own avoidance habit by pushing off my work as well as my exercise routine. This sent me into a rut, fast.

Fortunately, we can reverse the damage that avoidance causes in our lives when we let it get out of control. While everyone may have a different way of managing control, here is what works best for me.

First, I write down a list of all the tasks I have pushed off over time. This way, I can visually see all of my tasks in front of me versus having them boggling around in my mind uncontrollably. Then I slowly integrate those tasks into my daily routine, checking them off as I complete them. It is crucial that I visually see myself checking them off the list, as it provides an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

Next, I restructure my daily routine to incorporate a healthy balance of work, family time, and personal time, along with a small chunk of time dedicated to some form of exercise. For me, exercise always resets my brain from the stress and anxiety overwhelming it. I also ensure that I am eating three meals a day at consistent times, as the mind and body need consistency in the nutrients to feel balanced.

Another therapeutic option is to incorporate daily journaling into your routine. Use this time as a brain dump, writing down the thoughts & feelings that are rushing through your brain. This way, you can a) relieve your head from these nagging thoughts as they come up by writing them out; and b) to catch yourself if you begin falling into a habit of procrastination or avoidance in the future.

While these practices require consistency & discipline, they will get easier over time. That way, you can better equip yourself to avoid slipping into the habit of procrastination or avoidance.